I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hippo gnu deer
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
