the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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