They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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