i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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