U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
