i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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