How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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