i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
