whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
