i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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