so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize