Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize