i need an iv and a liver transplant
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
