idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
