I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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