just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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