i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Randomize
