i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Are we still banned from the library?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
