So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
