I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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