pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
