sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
