I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
