My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
