Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
