You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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