My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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