I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize