i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
