well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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