i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
