please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
