You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
