worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize