is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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