i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
