Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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