i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
