Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The uberlube is also flammable
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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