Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
