honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
