I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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