So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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