I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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