The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have fence marks all over my body
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
