I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
