I heard we made out
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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