I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
