I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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