im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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