I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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