so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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