got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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