I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Randomize
