just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
