I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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