His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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