How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
