Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
