Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
