oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
