There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
